Be Willing to Come Apart – Law 2 Of Transformation
“ONE MUST LOSE ONE’S LIFE IN ORDER TO FIND IT”
– ANNE MORROW LINDBERGH
The second of the 12 Laws of Transformation is Be Willing to Come Apart. These 12 laws can act as a guiding light toward truth and living a full, authentic life.
Like a seed must break in order sprout, we must also come apart in order to grow. As humans, we try our damnedest to control our life. This is why when something unpredictable or tragic comes along it hits us harder or cuts us deeper because “it wasn’t a part of the plan.” We have a plan or an ideal and every waking moment is spent sculpting a specific way of being. But that’s not how life works. Just like that quote “to hear God laugh, tell him your plan.” Trying to control the uncontrollable leads to stress, anxiety and even disease. Once we understand that we need to just let go and trust, the pressure and stress will subside.
DON’T MAKE THINGS HAPPEN, ALLOW THEM TO HAPPEN.
During my first round of yoga teacher training, we were learning about meditation and we had a master of meditation come in to lead us. A week or so prior to coming his father tragically died in an accident. This obviously wasn’t in his plan. Our teacher offered to cancel or reschedule but he chose to come anyways. With strength and composure, he led us through a wonderful, eye-opening meditation. He had the headspace to understand that he does not have control of life but he does have his control on how he reacts to life, and he surrendered to the universe. This headspace also allowed him the ability to process a loss on another level I still can’t even comprehend. He had already done the work to get him to this point. He had already lost and found himself several times in life I am sure.
We don’t like to come apart. It’s painful, difficult, scary, and shows vulnerability, which we have been conditioned to hide. We distract ourselves from all of the above by avoiding confrontation, getting overly angry, turning to drugs or alcohol, over or under-eating, or creating some other distraction in order not to feel. However, this same pain and vulnerability is what helps us process and grow. The only way out is through.
A common phrase you’ll hear in a yoga class is “the moment you want to get out of a pose is the moment it starts working.” It’s that moment of discomfort that the real work begins and instead of fighting it and creating a story about the pain, breathe into the discomfort, relax and surrender. Everything is temporary but we must fall apart in order to come back together stronger.
“I’VE LEARNED THAT IT IS ONLY WHEN WE ARE WILLING TO GIVE UP THE FRAGILE HOLD WE HAVE ON OUR ILLUSIONS AND COME APART THAT WE CAN BEGIN TO SEE THE TRUTH, SURRENDER, AND BEGIN ANEW.”
- BARON BAPTISTE
Be Willing to Come Apart can be applied to many aspects of life, from processing tragedies or heartbreaks to getting through a yoga class or trying something new. In the immortal words of Carrie Underwood, “Jesus take the wheel.” Or maybe Elsa’s words are more up your “Let it go! Let it gooo!” Be willing to come apart, relax and surrender.
Missed the first law of transformation? Click here to read about seeking the truth. Tune in next month to continue reading about the 12 laws and which law comes next. Each law stacks upon the other to assist in a full life-changing transformation. Baron references these laws in several of his books, including but not limited to Journey Into Power and 40 Days to a Personal Revolution. If you’d like to continue reading about the laws of transformation and the Baptiste methodology, I recommend looking into the books stated above and other writings from Baron Baptiste. Until next time flow, yogi, flow.