Benefits of Positive Affirmations–How You Talk To Yourself Matters
The other day I was teaching a class, and I organically stated: “for better or for worse, relax with what is.” It got me thinking that we spend our lives looking for a person or people to accept for better or for worse. We have partners, families, and friends that we love no matter what, no questions asked. However, when it comes to love and support for ourselves, we only show up for better. We tear ourselves down if it’s anything less. We are our harshest critic.
If you were in a relationship with someone who was consistently putting you down, you likely wouldn’t stay. We spend a lifetime with ourselves, it’s a marriage you can’t get divorced from so why would you want to stay in this miserable place of constant abuse? How you talk to yourself matters.
We are programmed to compare and judge ourselves. This habit develops sneakily when we are younger when we are trying to figure ourselves out and often not taking the time for internal reflection. However, what we don’t know at the time is that negative thinking can be damaging, mentally and physically. Constant, long-term negativity opens you to the risk of chronic anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, and mood disorders. Now, I am not saying you should never have a negative thought. That is just unrealistic. But instead, combat those negative thoughts when they arise with positive affirmations. There is an old Cherokee tale that depicts our internal battle so perfectly:
ONE EVENING, AN ELDERLY CHEROKEE BRAVE TOLD HIS GRANDSON ABOUT THE BATTLE THAT GOES ON INSIDE PEOPLE.
HE SAID, “MY SON, THE BATTLE IS BETWEEN TWO WOLVES INSIDE US ALL. ONE IS EVIL. IT’S ANGER, ENVY, JEALOUSY, SORROW, REGRET, GREED, ARROGANCE, SELF-PITY, GUILT, RESENTMENT, INFERIORITY, LIES, FALSE PRIDE, SUPERIORITY, AND EGO.
THE OTHER IS GOOD. IT’S JOY, PEACE, LOVE, HOPE, SERENITY, HUMILITY, KINDNESS, BENEVOLENCE, EMPATHY, GENEROSITY, TRUTH, COMPASSION AND FAITH.”
THE GRANDSON THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT HE SAID FOR A MINUTE AND THEN ASKED HIS GRANDFATHER: “WHICH WOLF WINS?”
HIS GRANDFATHER REPLIED, “THE ONE THAT YOU FEED.”
Affirmations are positive statements that can help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. When you repeat them often and believe in them, you can start to make positive changes. Studies have shown people who practice positive affirmations tend to be happier, more optimistic and have a clearer perspective on life.
6 PROVEN BENEFITS OF DAILY AFFIRMATIONS
Here is some evidence from empirical studies which suggest that positive self-affirmation practices can be beneficial:
Self-affirmations have been shown to decrease health-deteriorating stress (Sherman et al., 2009; Critcher & Dunning, 2015);
Self-affirmations have been used effectively in interventions that led people to increase their physical behavior (Cooke et al., 2014)
They may help us to perceive otherwise ‘threatening’ messages with less resistance, including interventions (Logel & Cohen, 2012);
They can make us less likely to dismiss harmful health messages, responding instead with the intention to change for the better (Harris et al., 2007) and eat more fruit and vegetables (Epton & Harris, 2008);
They have been linked positively to academic achievement, by mitigating GPA decline in students who feel ‘left out’ at college (Layous et al., 2017); and
Self-affirmation has been demonstrated to lower stress and rumination (Koole et al., 1999; Weisenfeld et al., 2001).
Okay, enough about the WHY, bring on the HOW.
HOW TO CREATE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS
Make a list of your negative thoughts about yourself. Include criticisms you’ve received from others that have stuck with you.
Example: The story I hold onto is that I am stupid. A lifetime of assumptions and criticisms have created this story for me.
Now, write out an affirmation on the positive aspect of your judgment.
Start with the words “I Am.”
Use the present tense.
State it in the positive.
Keep it brief.
Make it specific.
Example: “I am intelligent,” “I am a good writer,” “I am creative,” etc.
Speak the affirmation(s) out loud frequently. At least daily, if not multiple times a day
I also find it helpful to write these down and put them in a place where you will see it every day.